Waiting on a Silence - Revised and Dedicated to Mr. Grumpy Gills

Yes. alas! it's been a year. Cant believe it neither! From being a common blockmate then the next thing, being my first ever bf and as well as bff. ehehe! 3 yrs of nothing but a blockmate, we never talked nor jerked each other. I never expected him, i had my true love before and i thought we can be more than just friends...well i only fooled myself, waiting for almost 4 yrs in a row but nothing happened. I think Father God, as we say, hehe! snap it out of me! I never prayed for someone that will accept me. Because somehow, i had the hidden percentage of being self-centered, that if you love someone, they will hurt you with no reason at all so i focused myself that i am so fragile just to wreck me like that. (as what my friends experienced while wetting my skewl uniform with all of their tears!) Yes! im fazed to fly (just like the song) but the difference is, i know WHY. I had been turning down guys, making myself unfittable for them just to make sure they will not like or love me. I embarassed myself in front of them. I did the opposite things that they might not like. Turning them off is the term. But Charles is different among them, he saw my imperfections, stubborness, pathetic side of me and also the MEAN girl me. But i warned him that im short tempered type, i CAN'T get easily jealous though girls swoon and sigh whenever his around or hugging him with no reason at all, its ok for me actually because for them yes there is malice somehow but for Charles, i know deep inside nothing more or nothing less.. to feel,- just a friend or brotha. Im at eased. I told him that i am straight forward type too, no buts just dots...continue!, Manipulating guys is so easy if you ask me (NO offense ehehe!) not only in my experience but others, true! right?! I remember the 1st time we had a fight, i told him not to make any sacrifices for me because i really dont want to be a burden. Why am i so stubborn daw? its because of my pride? why cant i just let people do their thing for me. I dunno! that's only my answer. Its the only same thing we usually argue off. MAKING SACRIFICES FOR ME, BUT NOT LETTING HIM. I told him, i dont want to be spoiled, whenever i want this or that, his still explaining, when i shouted, "I CAN MANIPULATE YOU IF I WANT TO! BUT IM NOT THAT WICKED TO PURSUE IT! NEVER REPEAT THINGS THAT YOU'VE DONE IN YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS, IM ODD..VERY ODD!". so we end up so timid. drastically quiet. then we smiled and burst laughing. saying sorry and all that jazz. He knows what makes me tick, mad, happy, fullfilled and contented. (Background music: Make Me Whole - Amel Larieux)

We Thank Father God because of His big part in our REALationship. To our friends, kadas and blockmates who never stopped teasing us to death. Singing the PC song. "Perfect Combination love plus you and me." lalala! (I really hate that song because of the cheesyness! well it has been the national anthem whenever we went to skewl-echoing in the hallways and staircases). All the quarrels we had. His sacrifices for me, i cant count them, i never thought that there would be a person that will do anything for the sake of my happiness, security and contentment. I could never ask for more. For my Grumpy Gills...bahu mo! heh! che! ahahah!

November 10, 2008 by d1withbullet

“Waiting on a Silence”

by: Precious M.R.P.

Just a little peak on my window

Waiting for someone on the meadow,

Strong faith is inside my heart,

Benevolent man riding on a cart.

Eyes keep staring on crystal clear,

Waiting for a man that wasn’t here,

Appealing for his long lost better nature,

A bombardment of a half of mankind’s future.

Extinction is a pure drivel

My secret came up and unravel

Thoughts rushing thru veins of infinity

Too late…He already had an epiphany.

Yes! Im too arrogant..

He’s too flamboyant..

My mind is in turmoil.,

I don’t want Agape to spoil.

Such a hindrance.

I cant bear the acceptance?

Still living in martyrdom

A killing spree of undying boredom.

It is quite ironic isn’t it?

Destiny’s pathetic doens’t it?

Denying the truth obnoxiously

Yes! Im weak and that’s the reality

Now chances had passed

I can never recall the past

He’s gone

But I’m done

The regret is too hazardous

And the pretensions that you choose.

Here I am, still waiting.

To a man that keeps this painful beating…

11-10-08

10:43am GMT 8+

President Corazon Cojuangco Aquino 1933-2009

I'm not a martial law baby and also a people power baby. Even when Cory started being the 1st Woman President of Asia, I'm still at mom's womb that year of 1989. I had my consciousness knowing that Fidel V. Ramos is our President in the years of 1995 and so on. I have been aware since then about what really happened from the Marcos regime, Senator Benigno Aquino's Assasination that led to Edsa People Power 1 Revolution. Those topics were include at our textbooks in Sibika at Kultura, Hekasi, Kasaysayan ng Pilipinas, Asian History and World History. Documentaries, biographies and Newspaper clippings were everywhere. Questions are still out pouring who killed Ninoy. Somehow the Aquinos were quiet about the topic. They know somethings that might trigger who really killed Ninoy. But things are better left unsaid. After 26 years. things changed but Cory's faith to all of us Filipinos remained the same. I dont know about her a lot but as i have observed, she never stopped wanting, praying and begging for the entire betterment of our country. She's from a famous, wealthy and renown family of Cojuangco. Married to a rookie politician from Tarlac and gave birth to 5 children (4 girls and a boy). The 2 Aquino kids were famous because of the world they have chosen: Politics and Show business. Yesterday, i watched Kris Aquino's Interview. It was a dismal day because of a typhoon. Cory Aquino succumbed to colon cancer after fighting for almost a year plus. 3:18am at Makati Med. Her wake held first at La Salle Greenhills were in the famous counting of snap election held 2 decades ago. Everybody was decisive about this and some were hoping for miracle for Cory's state. But it is God's will muttered to all of us. Cory was in pain, hence she's been unfazed and ready for everything. She died peacefully and didnt show any careworn from having the disease. Kris Aquino told "the 1 month story" of Cory's last fight to cancer. Its hard that you cant do anything for the one you loved. She misses her mom who witnessed her mishaps and mayhem during her career. She said that im the prodigal daughter and she thinks that she done bad things that a daughter could possibly do to her mother. She will miss her texts, her support and her unconditional love. Her mom indeed is a very strong person, woman and mother. A very good boss to her employees. Years counting for those who worked for them and felt like a real family. Unselfish, witty and humble. During her presidency, she had the most clean record of all time. She's been very outreaching, approachable and never seen smugness. Wreaking was never in her vocabulary. Havoc! - that's one of the things she wanted to disappear here on earth. Hope everybody is ready for a change. a change for the better or rather a change for our best! Thank you for all the moral values, belief and loved you have shown us. Thank you President Cory! And just want to share this, she really looked like my Lola.(Grandma, Nana). She has the features of Guevaras from Marikina. White complexion as well as the chinese eyes. We came from the spanish and chinese ancestors. Kapitan Moi Guevara who started the shoe industry in Marikina, Philippines.