My Old Posts Part XIV - "Me: As the Half Impulsive One"

April 16, 2009 by d1withbullet

as of now, i know that i have been pushing daisies in an awkward way. i have been doing things, ignoring and yet aware that im still ME. Father God knows me best. do you know the saying that ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.

i was so depressed lately about how my relationship works smoothly, its too archaic right? his family makes my head burst out of nowhere, i think the green monstrosity of interchanging must be around and anytime it will get me but i will not allow it to happen. i hate the fact that they dont appreciate the things that i have sacrificed for our study, (stupid subject!). my dad, his family and everybody’s. i think everyone of us in the block experience family discrimination at that time because of that stupid subject nga.

they dont even know me. so why they must react like that? for pete’s sake. im not that worst case scenario that ever happened to their son’s life. they dont even get the point why i must do those sleepovers? i think the world have been reversed lately, its like im the boy here and he's the girl because the over protecting issue. i can manage that but as long as myself is at stake, im not just a bum trying to cease the day by ignoring it. can u tell me the wrong side of being “TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?”. im not a fighter but im a speaker.

as of now i dont care about people think about me. as what i have always say. I CANNOT PLEASE EVERYBODY. di natin hawak sila. even if its your relatives, former colleague or just a perfect stranger. if you dont like me, and so? people in my time, majority i have known for years and just seconds ago, are enough to justify my existence, that! that! is PRECIOUS! that’s her trademark, if you will remove it from her, i cannot tell if it is her or just an asshole! She’s an open book person, transparent and yet cannot extinguish her thought from the depths of life’s reality. im really proud of what God’s will brought me in those kind of situations. trials and hardships have been the batteries of self improvement. dito pa ko malolose ng hope? im not saying that im a veteran in a field that you called LIFE but as i have seen the world thru my own desk, i must say, THIS IS LIFE AND ITS A DIRTY GAME. dog eat dog society, discrimination, racism, drought and famine, pretenders, "Meaners" and the blind ones.

sometimes, i think that its too unfair, how my clan treat him like he was our own blood and origin. like a true Guevara too, and how come that im not welcome to his? sabi ko nga i can live with that, andaeng nagmamahal at nakakaunawa sa akin ay mali pala mas nakakakilala sa akin. sobrang daeng affections ang pinaparamdam nila. di kawalan ang iba kaya din ako siguro ganun mag-isip. o sya, baka bigyan na ko ng PALANCA nito. hope you did enjoyed my blog post. its been awhile since i have done this. sorry for the wrong grammar ;p frustrations, disappointments and stress. that’s the 3 ingredients right now.